When God Calls Us To Be Uncomfortable

Sometimes God calls us out of our comfort zone. We all know that, but do we answer that call? Or do we curl up in our comfy little shells and hunker down? Either way, it's easier said than done. 

I've been in my hermit shell for quite a while. I was completely unaware of my mental state until my husband sat me down, looked me in the eye, and with all of the love in the world told me that I was spiraling down in clinical depression and he wanted to help me do whatever I needed to go be the person he fell in love with again. I'm ready to answer His call. 

I'm in a season of uncertainty and extreme uncomfortableness. We are still walking through the journey of infertility. Month 30 of trying, to be exact. There are family issues, personal issues, ministry development, future planning, possible career path advancement and then just everyday stuff. It's been really overwhelming for me. 

After spending some time in prayer, in the Word and in counseling, I can see what's going on now. God is calling me to be uncomfortable to get me to grow. Being stagnant isn't something we were meant to be and it hinders our relationship with our creator. 

I am learning how to set healthy boundaries in all areas of my life. It's a really hard thing for me to do, being someone who doesn't like to hurt or offend anyone, but I've come to a point where my mental health and well-being is taking precedence over others. 

I am learning how to let go of my own will and plan for my life. I've had a lot of dreams dashed - dreams I have had my entire life, but the sun still shines, the world still turns and I'm still blessed beyond measure. His plan is so much bigger for me than mine is, but keeping that in mind 100% of the time is easier said than done. Sure, it was about 10 years after I thought it would happen, but He brought me the most amazing husband in the entire world, someone He made perfectly for me. He was faithful in that, He will be faithful in giving us a child and healing my depression. 

I am learning how much what I say and do and my countenance effects those around me. God has given me a place of influence and a voice that is heard by more than I realize most of the time. Leaning in to Him for what He would have me say and do is something I am not fighting anymore. This life isn't about me, my needs or wants at all, it's about bringing Him glory. 

I'm opening up my heart to the fact that uncertainty can be exciting. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."" What does the future hold for hubs' career? Will it keep us in Yakima? When will Baby Kingman join us? Will we church plant? Will it be where we have seen it happening? Will family relationships be restored? We don't know the answer to any of those questions, yet. And that's OK.

It begins... Again?

Well, here it is - my foray back into blogging. This time, instead of writing about hockey and the single life (aka trying to find my husband), I'm hoping to publish posts of substance. Possibly even inspire a person or two... or at least leave them wondering how the clock got to 1:18am while following a trail of interesting articles.

I'll start with a small auto-biography. I am extremely blessed to live in Washington (no, not D.C. or Seattle, I live in the Central part of the state) with my WONDERFUL husband of 4 months and one day, two dogs (8 y/o boxer, Max and 18 month-old lab-shepherd mix, Minnie) and a cat (Edouard). I moved here from the Southeastern side of the state in October of 2010 after being ill to the point of having to quit my career of being a corporate/government Admin Assistant (that's a post in itself). Since moving, I have started a direct selling business and worked as a nanny for a few months. For the most part, I'm a home maker and feel very blessed to be one (though I'm hoping to complete a professional certificate program soon to have a work-at-home business).

We are part of three incredible families, our blood families, church family and the law enforcement family. The last of those three has been such an incredible addition to my life, especially having little to no knowledge of what I was stepping into, marrying and living with a police officer. He and I are both in leadership at our church in several ministries and he is the assistant coach of a local Christian High School Baseball team.

I was raised by a single mom until I was 13 and we were blessed with my step-dad and had a somewhat strained relationship with my birth father that thankfully had been on a great road to reconciliation until his untimely death just a month and a half ago.

Now that I'm at home and not bringing much income in at the moment, I've been trying to help us be as frugal as possible. We have both always been big Reduce-Reuse-Recyclers. And, since we've been praying about when to expand our family, I've also been trying to help us live more healthfully and cutting the unnecessary and toxic chemicals out of our life. Reading more and more on the toxicity of things that we are putting in and on our bodies daily is alarming. I have started the switch to glass food storage containers, I've been cutting all petroleum based products out of my life for the past 5 years, I'm slowly weaning myself from white flour products to whole wheat, I have all but cut beef out of my diet (I'm intolerant - so just a nibble here and there of quality red meat), and I have recently started cutting back on our sugar intake. I believe that officially makes me semi-crunchy.

Hope that gives you a little insight into me and our life. Welcome to the journey!